Get Mother Back
by Narzoth
Summary: Small fictions written in an Evangelion exploration project years ago, now presented together. Small sessions exploring the question, "What would have life been like for Shinji if his father had incorporated him into the elder's plan instead of sending him away?"
1. Introduction

**Get Mother Back**

**A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfiction **

**By Narzoth**

**Introduction**

The following fiction is really a series of small snippets, which I have termed "sessions" because "chapters" does not seem to fit as well. It originally grew not as a planned prose story, but rather as posts to a massive, multi-thread project exploring the Evangelion series and movies over on over the course of 2011-2012, with explorations of various fanfictions still going on slowly at the time of this writing.

The moderation policies and mindset of that board have shifted over time, however, and I am no longer comfortable leaving creative works of which I am proud there. So I have collected and moved these writings here in order to maintain control over them but still have them on display. I am torn between warning the reader away from and recommending some incredible analysis threads on the topic of my favorite anime. Ergo, I will compromise by not linking to the board or threads, but informing the curious that a bit of clever searching will reveal Shadowjack's excellent threads and my own contributions as the poster Psychopomp therein. This comes with the warning that the moderation at that site has become a bit totalitarian, stretching their posted rules to fit rather arbitrary personal judgements in the name of providing their curious idea of an "inclusive, safe environment."

With that said, please enjoy the following short explorations into the theme of, "What would have become of Shinji had his father raised him within his plan, instead of abandoning him?"

My thanks still go out to Shadowjack and my fellow posters in those threads. I miss what we once had.


	2. Session 1

**Get Mother Back**

**A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfiction **

**By Narzoth**

**Session 1**

He sat in the dark, out of tears. It boggled his mind how he could be so numb and in such pain, both at the same time. She was gone, but she just couldn't be. He couldn't accept that. If she were gone...what was there for him in this world? She _was_ his world.

He could bring her back. The Old Men's plan...a few changes, a few tweaks...he could use Instrumentality. It could work! He could draw Yui's soul right back out of that monster, and then...stop the Impact? Forge a new world inside Complementation for them both? Whatever. It didn't matter.

He'd be riding a razor's edge. The Old Men would kill him without a second thought if they found out. He'd have to make himself indispensable...buy himself tiny increments of leeway to hide the preparations in. The preparations...he'd need his own nephilim, Adam, the Lance...he'd have to bring the Professor in on it.

Of course the Professor would join him. He was the only man on earth who loved Yui as much as he did.

Except maybe Shinji. Shinji, who he'd have no time for...not with so much to ready. He'd just hurt the boy, anyway. Raising a child was something Yui wanted...something Yui could do, not him. He'd send the child away for his own good. Avoid all contact with him, to keep him safe and s-

The door opened, spilling a wedge of light into the room. Naoko stood there (have to find a way to control her - she'd be needed for The Plan) with her hand on Shinji's shoulder. The boy was sniffling, but not crying. He must have run out of tears, too.

Shinji shuffled over, and he nodded a dismissal at Naoko. He looked down at the boy, already hardening his heart to tell him that he wasn't wanted. That he'd be sent off to his godparents', so that his father could work. He looked down and took a breath to speak...

...and Yui's eyes looked up at him, wet and vulnerable. They caught what little light the room held, and locked him in their grip. Pain...fear...the need to be taken care of...all held in these little eyes just like Yui's.

This must have been what her eyes looked like, in that damned entry plug.

Shinji wiped his nose and opened his mouth. His voice shook with helpless grief and terror. "Where's momma, daddy? Where did the big robot take momma?"

He took a knee before the boy, looked deep into Yui's eyes in this little face, and found courage he never knew he had. It must have been her love for the boy, finding its way to him. That was the only answer - everything good in him came from Yui.

He put his hand on the boy's head, and made to speak again, but this time his tone - while not loving - was soft, almost gentle. "The robot took mother inside it, Shinji, and we can't get her out." Before the words could make the boy start bawling again, he continued, "But father has an idea to get her back out."

The boy froze, rapt, startling him. For the first time ever, he could see something of himself in the child. A spark of his quiet determination flickered behind Yui's eyes, and The Plan suddenly changed.

"It may take a long time, Shinji...maybe years and years. Father may have to do scary things, and have many things that will be very, very secret. We can't tell _anyone_, but we can get mother back. We'll have to use the robot, Shinji...but mother is in it now. She still loves you, so the robot does too."

He marveled as the spark fanned into a flame before his eyes. The small boy looked so grave. It was eerie. It was like seeing his own expression on Yui's face.

"Can you be brave, Shinji?"

The boy silently nodded, his eyes never leaving his father's.

"Can you keep secrets, from anyone and everyone but me?"

The boy nodded again, still not speaking.

"Will you help me bring mother back, Shinji?"

Another solemn nod.

"What will you do to help father bring mother back, Shinji?"

And in an odd echo of the man's tone, the boy's voice answered.

"Anything."

He smiled, then nodded. He stood, and pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. Then he held out his hand. The boy's hand slipped into it, and each gave the other a squeeze.

Gendo Ikari opened the door and - hand in hand - took his son home.

They had much work to do.


	3. Session 2

**Get Mother Back**

**A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfiction **

**By Narzoth**

**Session 2**

"They're still completely in the dark. It's nice that we have such a lazy current batch of city councilors. They're perfectly willing to defer to the MAGI without a second th-"

Fuyutsuki was cut off by the harsh buzz of Ikari's phone. The younger man simply reached over to push the button without speaking an acknowledgment, trusting that the assistant would notice the active light. "You requested to be informed when your son arrived, sir. He is out here wait-"

"Send him in."

"Yes, sir."

He quietly took two steps back, positioning himself in the shadows behind Ikari's right shoulder. The First Child had been visiting the Berlin Branch for several months, serving as his father's agent - both officially for Project E and otherwise. This discussion promised to be rather illuminating.

The door opened, and Shinji Ikari strode across the dark expanse of his father's office. His usual air of familiarity with the deliberately imposing architecture seemed a little off. There was something...formal...about his posture. A slight tensing of Gendo's shoulders was the only sign he could see that he'd noticed, too.

Shinji came to a stop right before his father's desk, tugged the shirt of his pilot's uniform snug, and clasped his hands behind his back. "Father."

"Son."

The boy looked over at him and a ghost of a smile crossed his face and he nodded respectfully, "Sensei."

He felt a smile tug at his lips, and decided to let it happen. He liked the boy - whatever of Gendo was in him, there was still even more of Yui. It was good to have a reminder of why they did what they were doing. "Shinji. I trust your return trip went well?"

Now the ghost of a smile came back to life, and the boy nodded again. "Yes sir. Captain Katsuragi came with me. I believe she is still sorting out her living arrangements with Assignments."

A quiet "Hmmm," from the boy's father brought his attention back. Shinji's eyes (so like Yui's) met his father's...and drifted to the side, breaking contact.

Oh dear, that was bad. It was the boy's tell with his father, and he knew it. As soon as he realized what he'd done, Shinji brought his gaze back, but it was too late. The temperature around the desk seemed to have dropped five degrees.

Then the boy's eyes narrowed, and the chill dropped even further. Despite this - and he'd never admit it to anybody - a light sweat broke out around the old man's collar. He watched as the man and the boy stared at each other wordlessly, their wills clashing. Normally, the boy deferred to the elder Ikari, but there were two topics that would inspire him to force his father to break first. The boy had just come back from Germany, so it was likely to involve-

-yes. Gendo had just sighed and taken off his tinted glasses, rubbing his eyes. Then this must be about the Third Child. This was going to get very tense, very soon.

"Son, you've been spending too much time with Katsuragi. Stop standing like a cadet on the parade ground, make yourself comfortable, and tell me what you've done."

Shinji sighed (and the old man knew better to ever point out how the sound was identical to the one his father had just made) and visibly relaxed. He strode over to the mini-bar and removed a milk tea. He made sure to keep his smirk on the side of his face opposite the Ikaris as he noticed what Shinji did not - that the drinks were Shinji's favorite brand, and were freshly stocked. The boy walked back and sat down in the chair in front of his father's desk. The chair normally wasn't there - only when Shinji was expected.

The younger Ikari cracked open the can's top, took a deep drink, then looked up at his father. "I told Asuka the truth about what happened to her mother during the contact experiment."

_Oh shit_.

The chill had barely started to run down his back and Gendo was already standing, slamming both palms down on the desk. "Goddammit, boy! When will you learn what Top Secret means?"

This was quite a bit worse than he was expecting.

Shinji leapt up, standing at his full height to meet his father's forward lean face on. "Dammit, father, she deserves to know! That shit that that...that...thing Unit-02 let out of the plug pulled was _eating her alive_ on the inside! She deserved to know, just like I deserved to know what happened to Mom! So I told her!"

The boy looked off to the side again, and his voice dropped to almost a whisper. "I swore her to secrecy. She won't leak the informa-"

"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT!" Gendo was enraged still. "Besides, the Third Child's mental health is a moot point! You know what the Scrolls say about the Fifte-"

The can of tea fell to the floor, forgotten, as Shinji's voice rose to meet Gendo's volume. "_And the Fifteenth shall meet the Warrior with Hair of Fire, and the Warrior of Fire's mind shall break and flame extinguish!_' Yes, father, I know fucking well what the Scrolls say!"

He felt his eyebrows slide up despite his efforts. The boy could quote the prophecies? Gendo hadn't shared that level of knowledge even with him.

Shinji's voice dropped again, choking up a bit and softening. The chill crawled back up the old man's poor spine. It was almost...not quite, but almost...like Yui herself was whispering out of the darkness. "But the Scrolls only tell us what happen during the Ordeals. Not what happens after. Asuk...the Third Child may be fated to break, but the Scrolls do _not_ say that she can't recover."

The boy licked his lips, but he did not look away from his father's gaze again. Gendo had slowly drawn back from over the desk, now standing straight behind it again. Shinji continued, "Dammit, father, we don't have to let things be as bad as possible! If I can build Asuka up a bit, then maybe when she breaks...she can heal. Quickly." The boy's eyes narrowed, "Another capable pilot could make all the difference with the remaining angels. And...what we think comes after."

The boy flopped back into his seat, covering his brow and eyes with one hand. "We don't even know that her breaking is the point of the Ordeal of the Fifteenth. For all we know, the test could be whether we let it happen callously or do everything to make her better after."

The hand dropped and the boy looked back up into his father's angry eyes. The soft gaze that came up wasn't just similar - these were the eyes of Yui Ikari, staring through the face of a thirteen year old boy to shame to grown men. "We don't have to just stand here and _let_ things be as bad as they could be."

That's when he knew the boy had won, even if Gendo hadn't realized it yet.

Gendo stared silently for a few moments, then slowly sat back in his chair, assuming his folded hands stance. When he spoke, his voice had resumed it's calm. "Shinji, The Plan-"

"Father, when we pull Mom out of Unit-01, we still have to be able to look her in the eyes."

Gendo's back muscles jerked like he'd been stabbed in the kidney. The old man could empathize. The boy's words had gone into his heart.

Gendo reached down and put his glasses back on. His hands resumed their customary position, and he locked gazes for several more minutes. Finally, the elder Ikari broke the silence. "Son, I allowed you an indulgence on the topic of Rei. Now you've claimed one on the matter of the Third Child. There will not be a third indulgence, do you understand?"

"Father, I like Asuka. She deserved to know that her mother wasn't who tried to k-"

"Shinji. No more indulgences. Not Captain Katsuragi. None of your school friends. Just this, and Rei. Do. You. Understand?"

The boy's shoulders slumped a bit, and he looked down. "Yes father, I understand."

"No more indulgences. Swear it."

"I promise, fath-"

"On your mother's soul. Swear it."

Now the old man flinched, and the boy's face went pale. Then the younger Ikari licked his dry lips, closed his eyes, and said, "On Mother's soul, I swear it, Father. No more indulgences."

Gendo nodded. "Very well, son. We'll speak of this no more. Just be careful with the Third Child. As you yourself said, she's a bit...fragile. Don't entrust her with more than she can carry just because of your infatuation."

"Infatuation, Father? Isn't that why you're devoting everything to the Plan?"

Gendo's right eyebrow lifted slightly. "You're comparing what your mother and I had to-"

"No, Father. I'm not. But don't I deserve the chance to find out if it is like that? Before we...you know...before Instrumentality?"

Gendo pushed back from the desk with his elbows, leaning back in his chair to consider his son. After a moment or two, he sighed and said, "Go home, Shinji. Your sister has missed you terribly, and she is cooking a dinner for you. She will be very glad to see you."

Shinji smiled and nodded, and stood from his seat. "Will you be joining us, Father?"

"No. I have a meeting with the JSSDF Joint Chiefs this evening."

The smile faded, but only a touch, and Shinji nodded his understanding. Then the boy turned and walked back across the dark office. He had just slid the door open when Gendo called out quietly across the space.

"Shinji."

"Yes, Father?"

"Perhaps it is time to let the generals know how little they matter. Tell Rei I will be joining you for dinner."

"Yes, Father."

Then the boy was gone.

Gendo removed his glassed and massaged the bridge of his nose. "That boy is going to be the death of us all."

The old man chuckled softly.

Ikari replaced his glasses and resumed his thoughtful pose, folding his hands across his face. "I know you have something to say, Sensei. You might as well comment."

Since Ikari wasn't deigning to look at him, he let his smile cross his face. "I was wrong."

"Hmmm. On several occasions, I'm sure. You'll have to be more specific."

That was to be expected. The elder Ikari was always a bit petty on the rare occasions his son bested him in a clash of wills.

"I once told you that Yui was the best conscience you would ever have."

"Mmmm."

"I was wrong. Whatever she was planning when she got into that monster, she made sure she'd left you a better one before she went."

"Mmmm."

The silence stretched on for another five minutes. The room got darker as the Geofront's false sky slid towards its regularly scheduled sunset. Finally, Gendo stood and began locking up papers.

"I'll let you cancel the meeting with the generals. Find a polite way to tell them to fuck off, but make sure they still understand it is a 'fuck off."

"So eloquent."

"Also inform the janitorial staff to remove this chair. And clean up the milk tea on the floor."

"Yes, sir."

"I'm going to go home and have dinner with my family." The Commander of NERV turned to face him, "Would you care to join us?"

The old man blinked, then smirked. "Will Dr. Akagi be joining us?"

They began walking towards the door together. "Hmmm. No. Ever since her daughter joined her staff, Naoko is perfectly content to nag her own family to death, rather than mine."

He chuckled, "Then I can accept the invitation."

"Hmmm. Good. Rei always cooks too much, and Shinji is fond of you. I think he respects you."

"With Yui gone, at least one Ikari needs to."

"Quite. Anyway, it will be good to have someone the boy likes with us for dinner. Otherwise, after this afternoon, things might be tense at the dinner table."

"Always looking to manipulate the situation to your advantage, aren't you Ikari?"

"Always."

The door slid shut as the Geofront sky completed its shift into the night cycle, leaving only the glow of the Tree of Sephiroth to light the vast, cold room.


	4. Session 3

**Get Mother Back**

**A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfiction **

**By Narzoth**

**Session 3**

Naoko Akagi sat in the terminal chair, not bothering to hide her smug grin. She wouldn't have missed this for the world. The months of secret labor down in the dark, secret lab in Terminal Dogma with Fuyutsuki - and the months of keeping the secret from Ikari - had finally paid off.

Gendo had just looked at his precious nephilim for the first say that he was displeased was an understatement.

"Your explanations still do not cover why you used my wife's DNA for the project, old man!"

Oh, he was clenching his fists at his sides. Maybe he'd hit the professor? Oh, that would be just _delicious_.

A stab of motherly instinct made her glance at Shinji, but the quiet boy was still standing in front of the tube. He seemed unconcerned by the raised voices of the adults behind him. Odd for a child so young - he was only six, after all. He'd changed since Yui had died, and maybe not for the better. He had come to share some echo of his father's unnatural stoicism.

Well, _usual_ unnatural stoicism, that is. She looked back and thrilled again at the rare sight of Gendo losing his cool.

"Ikari, Unit-01 left the...source material...in the ideal state for the project! You said to do this...this...work as quickly as possible! This was the way to do that!"

The older man's hands were up in a calming gesture. Ikari did not seem to be impressed.

"This is unacceptable, Fuyutsuki! This was not what I intended! I did not want Y-" a momentary flicker of his attention over towards Shinji, still watching the object in the tube raptly, "..._her_ memory defiled with this...this..._duplicate_!"

She smirked. The man wasn't such a block of stone as he pretended. He edited himself for the boy. And, of course, there were the extra-professional activities he shared with her...

"It's not an exact duplicate, Ikari! That was the point! Half her genetic material is from the Second Angel. It's expressively neutral so she looks like a duplicate, but really...she's more like Yui's daughter than a copy."

Gendo's eyes screwed closed, and she watched with a macabre fascination as the man managed to swallow his towering rage. Stuffing it somewhere inside himself by a sheer act of will. That, she mused, _cannot_ be healthy.

"Nnnngh. Fine. How long until it awakens?"

"I'm not sure. We had to do this without access to SEELE's files on their project. The scans show that the ego-graft took and the soul checks out - but we just decanted it. Two months. Maybe as many as six. Certainly no less than one."

"And the back ups?"

"Several dozen came out viable. 10% over my best estimates, actually."

Growing a little bored now that the show seemed to be wrapping up, she glanced over to check on Shinji. Her pulse suddenly jump started, pumping ice-cold water through her veins. "Gendo?"

"Hmmm. I'm still not happy with your choice, professor, but I can't argue with results."

The chair rolled off into the darkness, pushed away in her haste to cross to the two men.

"I assure you, Ikari, I did not make the decision lightly."

She grabbed Ikari's sleeve, causing his still-tense frame to jump. He spun to face her, "Dammit, Naoki, what is i-"

She pointed at the tube in the center of the room, "For gods sake, Gendo, _look_."

In front of the tube, Shinji turned to look over his shoulder at them. His smile was beatific. "Father! Father! If she's Momma's daughter..."

The boy turned back to face the nude girl - who appeared roughly his own age - floating in the LCL, "...then that means she's my _sister_!"

The boy looked up at the red eyes. The red eyes that were open. The red eyes that slid down to meet his.

Shinji reached up to place both palms to the surface of the tube. Inside, the nephilim reached out to press its hands opposite his. Mimicry? Or something el-

"What's her name, Father?"

The elder Ikari licked lips that were suddenly dry. The other two adults were frozen with shock.

_If it's a boy..._

It's red eyes still meeting Shinji's gaze...

_...his name will be Shinji._

...it smiled.

_And if it's a girl..._

"We'll call her Rei."


End file.
